Lily Cade: Co-Winner of Mile High Madness!

Captain Jack interviews Lily Cade

Lily Cade has long been a popular performer in girl/girl films. Mile High recently had a tournament in which the fans could pick the pairings they wanted to see most. After the dust cleared, Lily Cade and Charlotte Stokely were the winners to film a girl/girl scene! That pairing should be epic for two reasons, Charlotte and Lily both love women and the fans voted for it! I had a chance to interview Lily recently!

Lily Cade

Captain Jack: You shoot only girl/girl, have you ever been with a guy in your personal life? Or are you a true lesbian?

Lily: I’ve never even kissed a boy. I’ve always known I wasn’t straight. I thought I would die alone and be eaten by my cats. I told my sister if I had to get married, I would marry Spock from Star Trek because “he’s smart, and I think we’d understand each other, and I’d only have to do it once every seven years.” This standard life path – fall in love, get married, have kids – is laid out to you long before you have any sort of sense of sexual desire. Around puberty, I realized I was attracted to women. It took me a little bit longer to understand that I wasn’t the only one like that and to make sense of it, but I never tried to pretend I was bi, and I’ve never been ashamed of myself.

I get a ton of push-back about this from people who want me to shoot boy/girl or fuck guys. Every day on twitter and in real life and everywhere, I deal with dudes who just can’t wrap their minds around me being a lesbian. I’m really good at shutting them down, but it’s only because I’ve had to do it so much. [What Not to Say to Lesbians] I’m never going to shoot boy/girl, because I don’t want to. I’m not in porn because I don’t have anywhere else to be. I do this because I love it.

CJ: When was the first time you were with a girl?

Lily: I get this question a lot. I think most porn girls have a more interesting answer to it than I do because they have previous sexual experience with men so they’re not talking about the first time they did anything sexual at all. I’ve been gay since forever. My “first time” was some fumbling around where I went down on a girl and she didn’t reciprocate and I laid there in a state of sexual frustration so intense it hurt and couldn’t do anything about it. As lesbians we don’t have the same sort of ordering of sex acts that straight culture does. I think it’s better. I think virginity is a silly concept. Sexual experience is a process not an event.

Lily Cade

CJ: What did you do before porn?

Lily: I graduated from an all girls’ Catholic high school, attended Cal Tech and then transferred to USC for Film School when I realized lab work wasn’t for me. I always wanted to make films with sex in them, and that’s something I still very much want to do, but I ended up coming about it from the porn side instead of the mainstream side. My family was also involved in horse racing, and I worked on a broodmare farm in Kentucky for a while between college and porn.

CJ: How and why did you decide to get into the adult industry?

Lily: I graduated from college in the middle of a writers’ strike, so there wasn’t a ton of work in Hollywood. I went to Kentucky for a while, but I had to come back so that my now wife could finish school. We got married in 2008, between the court case that made gay marriage legal in CA and the passage of Prop 8…and like two months later I did my first porn scene. I found it off craigslist. I made $200 for a girl/girl scene. I didn’t know what rates were. I liked it, and I picked it up as a sort of paid hobby for a while before committing to porn as a career. I approached agencies. All of them told me I wasn’t hot enough, or femme enough, or whatever enough. I was actually told by one person “you look too gay to do girl/girl but I could get you work in boy/girl”. Whatever. Half those agencies aren’t even around anymore. I rep myself and I do just fine.

CJ: Was there any nervousness when you started filming? What was your first scene like?

Lily: I’ve had sex with about 100 women before porn. Interestingly, I’ve now have scenes with 100 different girls at LilyCade.com. I wasn’t nervous about the sex at all. The script for that first scene was supposed to be that it was my first time with a girl. The director took one look at me and changed it. To this day, I’ve never done an “it’s my first time” scene. Come on, what’s the point of that? It’s a total waste of who I am as a performer.

CJ: What do you look for in another woman?

Lily: I like to say my type is an energy thing. I like women who like sex and who like me. I like interesting people. I like someone who wants to learn from me or who wants to teach me something. I’ve been with so many hot women who are hot in different ways…but you do have to be hot. I’m a porn star. I’m spoiled.

Lily Cade

CJ: Do you have any favorite scenes?

Lily: I love so many of the scenes I’ve done. I’m not really a person who does favorites of anything. It so depends on my mood. Some recent scenes I’ve really liked included a really intense scene with Keira Kelly for femme-life.com, my scene with Siri for LilyCade.com and my prison guard scenes in Lesbian Lock-Up for Filly Films. I’ve done hundreds of scenes. I’ve loved quite a few of them and liked most of them.

CJ: What do you like sexually? What really gets you wet?

Lily: I just like women. I like what they want. I want to be something that someone else is really into. I like being and constructing a fantasy. I run scenes, off or on camera. I’m intense, and passionate, and kind of over-the-top and I love that. I’m very experienced and connected and good – I like being able to show a girl a really, really good time. Listen, I’ve done basically everything. It’s hotter for me to show someone I feel a connection with something they haven’t done, to see that genuine excitement, than it is to just do something I know I like for the 300th time.

I like fucking a girl, and sliding my fist into her, and asking her if she’s ever been fisted. Usually she says no, and I tell her to look down. I like that. I like that shock. I like group sex. I like sex in public or semi-public places. I like the camera. I like doing the sorts of things that other people don’t get to do.

CJ: How often do you cum during a scene?

Lily: It depends on the scene, but I’m fairly easily orgasmic (with other women) and I get off in almost every scene I do. I do some scenes where I just fuck the other girl and she doesn’t reciprocate, and I don’t get off in those scenes but I don’t care. I have a very other-focused sexuality, and what really matters to me is making the scene hot and getting the other girl off. Orgasms are great, but I’d always rather give one than have one.

CJ: Do you watch your own scenes (other than when you act as a director)?

Lily: I watch a ton of my own scenes in the editing room. I’m a director for Filly Films and I have a website LilyCade.com which I update every week. I spend a lot more time watching myself fuck than most people, I would imagine. If they were scenes I enjoyed doing, it’s fun. It’s a record of something that was hot, and real, and awesome. If I didn’t enjoy the scene, or if I’m unhappy with the camera work, then it’s less fun. Outside of editing and QC, I don’t really watch my own scenes alone, but sometimes I’ll put on a movie for my friends. Sometimes, I’ll show my porn to a civilian I’m fucking.

Lily Cade

CJ: How often do you masturbate? And what’s your favorite toy?

Lily: I don’t really masturbate. I mean, I’ve done it. Sometimes, I’ll do it absently. I used to do it a lot when I was younger. I’m just terrible at it. I’ve never had a real orgasm from masturbation. [Solo – blog post]

Sex to me is other people. It’s possible for me to have an orgasm from looking at someone, if the connection is there. When I was a kid, the only way I could get off would be to think really hard about something that worked for me erotically and not touch myself. I would just lay there, and experience that same frustration to the point of pain that I mentioned before and every now and then it would break over me. If I touched myself, it felt good, but I wouldn’t reach orgasm. Now I just fuck all the time. I think it’s a part of why I’ve always had open relationships…my wife is amazing, but she can’t handle all of my sexual needs and shouldn’t have to.

My favorite toy is my strap-on. I’m good with it. I’m athletic and connected and I can fuck girls in a way that both feels and looks good.

CJ: What have you learned about yourself sexually since joining porn?

Lily: I’ve learned that I really like roleplay, I just don’t do anything half way, so I need to do it on camera or in other contexts where everyone is really committed to it. I’ve become a much better actress than I was when I started. I hate pantomime. If you’re a cop, be a cop; don’t wear stupid fantasy cop lingerie.

I’ve also become genuinely comfortable with myself. Porn is strange. You’ll be told you’re hot and that you’re gross all the time, and sometimes told you’re hot in a way that feels gross. Someone will find everything you hate about yourself and tell you how horrible you are. I’m a contrary person, so I don’t care. I kind of like it. When some idiot who can’t figure out which “you’re” or “your” to use attacks me on online, it feels kind of beautiful. You know who I am. I don’t know or care who you are. I’m someone and you’re not, and you’ve never had anyone look up at you and tell you that you’re the best fuck they’ve ever had and meant it. I have. So hate me, baby, and I’ll spare you some pity if I feel like it but that’s all you’re getting from me.

CJ: What are you like off-camera? What are your hobbies and interests?

Lily: I’m kind of the same off camera. I work a lot. I’m writing or trying to make things happen or otherwise working constantly. I do have fun, of course. I have a horse that I ride. I like to go to movies. I work out a lot. My career, though, it is the driving force in my life.

Lily Cade

CJ: What kind of music do you like?

Lily: I like bluegrass music or music with bluegrass elements, ideally in a minor key with some aspect of melancholy and that tells a story I can connect with. I like other kinds of music too. I’m not exactly a music person. I’m not someone who follows a lot of bands or for whom music is a large part of my life, but I use music to evoke a mood. I might listen to the same song on loop for two hours. I seek out feeling from music.

I like the band Gangstagrass a lot. They are a hiphop/bluegrass crossover band and they are great. I’m in one of their music videos.

CJ: What’s your favorite movie?

Lily: Today, it’s Attack the Block. You should watch it. I love movies. I think of life as a movie. Which is why it’s hard for me to pick a favorite. Like music, it so depends on the mood I’m in and what I want to experience. Sometimes, it’s so cool to watch a movie that sucks, or that is almost good but isn’t, so that you can learn from it. Sometimes, you want something old and familiar, the mom’s mac and cheese of movies. Sometimes, you want something strange that you don’t even really understand. I have a career in movies (albeit, sex movies) because I love them.

CJ: What’s your favorite TV shows?

Lily: It’s probably Justified. The show captures Kentucky so well (even if I did see Pasadena streets in the season finale), and I have a lot of affection for that place. My wife and I both love this show, and love watching it together.

Also, I identify with Raylan Givens. I like characters like this. Sterling Archer is another one. They’re assholes, but people like them anyway, because they like themselves and they don’t give a shit if you like them. They get away with things, because they have the right sort of charm. I’m one of these people, but in film they are always male. I ramp this up on camera a lot. If you watch the roles I write for myself, a lot of them are about playing with this “loveable asshole” concept.

CJ: Do you play video games?

Lily: I like video games, but I don’t play them often. They are a huge time-sink. I like RPGs like the Elder Scrolls series, and I adore Portal. I have a lot of Portal-branded stuff because that game really spoke to me. I’m also super good at old-school Mario games. I can kick your ass at Super Mario World.

CJ: What’s the kinkiest or wildest thing you’ve ever done off-camera?

Lily: Honestly, I have no idea. I live a life where it’s not weird for me to shoot a sex scene, have a threesome, and then have another threesome later…on a Wednesday, because I felt like it. I’ve been to orgy parties and fucked 14 women in one night. I’ve had sex on every kind of vehicle – trains, planes (in the seats), automobiles (while driving). I had sex on horseback, albeit rather briefly. I’ve stolen high class hookers from their paid dates and made men cry because they couldn’t possibly measure up to me. I collect experiences. I can’t order them.

Lily Cade

CJ: What’s your ultimate sexual fantasy and do you want to live it out on camera?

Lily: I like to say I don’t have fantasies. I make them. I like to live things out and then write the movie version about it later.

Recently, I’ve been on a butch lesbians kick. I’m sort of “bi” in a lesbian context – I like femme women, butch women, everything in between – but most of my sex life is with femme women. I’ve been fucking around with butch lesbians a lot lately, playing a different person than I get to play most of the time. I fucked this butch girl the other day. She was super thin (which I’m into) with a trace of a Southern drawl. She washed the grease from jump starting a car off her hands before she fucked me. I want to do some more of that on camera, but it’s hard to accomplish in porn because those sorts of girls don’t really do porn. I don’t blame them. Porn isn’t nice to girls like that. Not everyone has my steel spine.

CJ: You won the Mile High Madness Tournament and get to shoot a scene with Charlotte Stokely. Tell me about this honor!

Lily: I’m so, so happy to have won Mile High Madness. I almost won last year. Nina Hartley and I got second place. So I really committed this year, because, like I said, I don’t do things half-way. I got my fans engaged early on, and made sure that they knew this was important to me, and they supported me. My fans are so cool. I love them. I love that they are interested in my work. I’m an entertainer, but like any entertainer I need an audience.

Mile High (specifically SweetHeart Video) was the first company I shot real porn for, and they have the first actually released scenes of me. I love this contest, and I’m really glad Mile High gave me a chance to compete!

CJ: Have you ever filmed with Charlotte before?

Lily: I haven’t. We’ve met, but not worked together. I’m excited. Charlotte is thoroughly gorgeous, and she seems interesting. I think it’s awesome that she’s been doing both mainstream modeling and porn concurrently. When you get into porn, it closes doors, not because it has to but because the world outside of porn is still super weird about sex. Lots of people who have mainstream careers post-porn have to denounce their porn careers to do it. I admire Charlotte for doing both un-apologetically.

CJ: What are you going to bring to this particular scene? Have you discussed scenarios or what’s going to happen yet?

Lily: I’m going to bring the same thing I bring to every scene, which is a positive attitude, a vast repertoire of sexual experience and skill, and a desire to make everything I do as good as possible…plus the excitement of this scene being special because we won a contest to film it. Since I’m not directing this scene, I don’t know what it’s going to be about. That’s fine. I love being an instrument of someone else’s vision too.

CJ: What does the future hold for Lily Cade? Where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years?

Lily: I have irons in the mainstream fire. I can’t tell you much about any of it yet, but I do see myself branching out. I’ll always be Lily Cade…but hopefully you’ll be seeing more of me in non-porn contexts in the near future.

I’m also continuing with my career as a porn performer and director. I’m not done yet. I love this job.

CJ: And how can the fans get ahold of you? (Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram)

Lily: First of all, I’m at LilyCade.com. This is my personal site that I’ve had for four years now. I update every week. I can do whatever I want and it’s great. It’s like me…no bullshit just hot sex.

I’m @lily_cade on twitter, lilycade.tumblr.com and lily_cade on Instagram.

Lily Cade Movies, Photos, Talk


Pornstars, set up an interview with Captain Jack – message him through any of his forum posts (envelope icon,) or hit him up on Twitter.

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